I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
