is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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