oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
