Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
