there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
