Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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