Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
