I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
