i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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