We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
