he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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