I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
