Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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