just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
