I cockslap morals
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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