It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
