Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
