Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I deserve this hangover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
