Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
