I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
