marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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