You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
