dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
