No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
