Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
