In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
