So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
