I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
