My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
