love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
