Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
