He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
