Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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