God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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