I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
