I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
