Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
