Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
