Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
