I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
