Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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