WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
