"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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