Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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