I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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