Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
