is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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