I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
