So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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