You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
