It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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