is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
