you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
