My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
