i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
